The Much-Talked-About College Process

As a senior in high school, I have been trying to find the right college for a year and a half. That’s almost 548 days of stress about college essays, interviews, campus visits, making the right impressions, SAT scores, applications, keeping grades up, doing as many extracurricular activities as possible, having a social life and somehow finding “me time.” After spending such a huge amount of time on this whole process, I have one month to decide where I would like to go next fall. Thirty days. It seems a little unfair that I spend 548 days applying to schools, and they only give me 30 days in return! For a girl like me, who is probably the worst decision-maker on the planet, this means trouble.

It takes me twenty minutes to pick which flavor of ice cream I want. I can eat all of it in one-fourth of that time! Including the cone! It takes me maybe an hour before I decide between buying two equally cute items at Forever 21. There are just so many factors to think about; I can never make a quick decision on the spot. What if I make the wrong decision and regret it later? What if I waste money on ice cream that I won’t end up liking? Yes, I taste the samples of every flavor first, but having a tiny minuscule taste of it is different than having the whole scoop. Just like having a tiny miniscule taste of a college campus is different than having the whole scoop. So how am I supposed to make the biggest decision of my life in only a month’s time? I just don’t think it’s possible.

It is a little ironic that one of my worst qualities is my decision-making ability, because the thing I hate the most is wasting time. That is why on a day that I have the option to sleep late, I do not sleep past 9 a.m. I make sure to maximize my time by being efficient. I figure that since you can never get those hours back, you can’t waste them. That is why we have to live every moment of our lives to the fullest. However, that is so much easier said than done. Sometimes all I ever want to do in my house is lounge around in my pajamas with my puppies and watch reruns of “House” or “Project Runway.” After all, that is so much easier than making the biggest decision of my life.

I’m scared, terrified actually, that I’ll regret my decision. I hate the feeling of regret, because there is nothing you can do to change it. You can’t remake that decision. Yes, I know I can always transfer if I don’t like the school I choose. However, it is never the same as making the decision for the first time. There is so much pressure and responsibility put on my shoulders in such a small amount of time, but at the same time I don’t want anyone but myself making the decision. It is up to me only, not my parents, not my friends, not the colleges. Me.